Note: The following blog entry was originally posted on September 24, 2008. I’m re-posting it as part of our Newly Engaged series more specifically Choosing Your Wedding Party.
Most couples have a child or children they HAVE to have in their wedding party. Whether it’s their own child, a family member or the child of a close friend. They are the most adorable kids but will they actually walk down the aisle on your wedding day? There is no rule that says they will or that they won’t but I think it depends on their age AND personality. They say that kids in the wedding party should be 4 – 8 years old. Some kids may be old enough but are very shy so this is just a guide.
I have a conversation with my clients regarding this subject. I want them to know ahead of time that it’s possible their flower girl or ring bearer may not make it down the aisle. I’ve seen children do a fantastic job at the rehearsal only to have stage fright on the wedding day. The difference? There are only a handful of people at the rehearsal most of which are in the bridal party. The wedding day is a much different story. Most couples have anywhere from 100-250 guests in attendance. That’s a lot of pressure for a child. Shoot, that’s a lot of pressure for some adults. Even with promises of gifts, toys, big surprises, etc. some children just won’t do it and I don’t force them to.
At our last wedding, the four year old flower girl didn’t want to walk. So while everyone’s attention was on the bride and her mother as they made their entrance, I walked little miss Anna down the side aisle to the front of the church to be with her mother (the maid of honor). That way she would still be apart of the recessional and appear in the couple’s video and photos.
We’ve had some successes too though. Like the little cutie pictured above. Natalia was only 3 years old but made it down the aisle all on her own. So again, it depends on the personality of the child not just their age.
My advice is to pair a young or shy child with an older or more outgoing child in your wedding. Better yet, pair them with a sibling or family member they are close to. They’ll feel more comfortable and you’ll have a higher chance of them walking down the aisle. Just something to keep in mind as you choose your bridal party.
