Thursday, August 26, 2010
I’m often asked by my clients who should attend the wedding rehearsal. The short answer is anyone who has a role in the actual wedding ceremony but I thought I should elaborate a little more.
Bride & Groom: Of course, you two are a given for attending the rehearsal since you are a key component to the ceremony. You will need to practice the processional, being given away, when to hand off the bouquet, etc.
Grandparents and Parents of the Bride & Groom: They will also need to practice their entrance for the ceremony, lighting the unity candle (if applicable), where to sit once down the aisle, etc.
Wedding Party: Your wedding party consists of maid/matron of honor(s), bridesmaids, best man, groomsmen, flower girls, ring bearers, etc. They are your supporting cast and will also need to practice walking down the aisle (together or separately), where to stand, the recessional, etc.
Officiant: The person who will marry you should attend the rehearsal. They will need to know how they are walking in and with whom (groom and best man, groom, best man & groomsmen, etc.). They will be able to explain various points in the ceremony to the bride and groom based on your ceremony program.
Singers & Musicians: They should attend the rehearsal for a couple of reasons. You and your wedding party will want to practice walking to the actual music you’ll walk to for the processional. The soloist or singers will have the opportunity to sing and get comfortable with the musical accompaniment and sound system.
Readers: While their role may seem smaller in comparison to those listed above, they still should attend the rehearsal. They will need to get comfortable with the microphone and sound system as well as know where to sit to easily make their way to the front to read a scripture or poem.
Hostesses & Ushers: They usually greet your guests, hand out programs, seat guests, etc. While this probably doesn’t require much direction, it’s nice for them to attend the rehearsal so that they know exactly where to be, what to do and the tasks you’ve chosen for them.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
I’ve been hesitant about writing this post but felt that it was necessary. I visit other wedding planners’ websites as I meet new people at various networking events, conferences, etc. While the majority seem professional, a small few make me question their skills and ethics. I cannot count the times that I’ve gone to a website page titled “Portfolio” and seen stock photos or photos from other planners. Recently I visited a local Baltimore wedding planner’s portfolio page and found photos used in a rental linen company’s catalog. So I flipped through my catalog (which gives photo credit to the photographers and event designer) to see if they were indeed the owner. Sure enough, they were not!
Dictionary.com defines portfolio as pieces of creative work collected to be shown to potential customers or employers…as in “the artist had put together a portfolio of his work”, “every actor has a portfolio of photographs”. Webster.com defines portfolio as a selection of a student’s work compiled over a period of time and used for assessing performance or progress. Both definitions suggest that the “work” is your own not someone else’s.
In my opinion, this practice is misleading to a prospective client and totally unethical. So here are my suggestions to both brides/grooms and wedding planners:
To brides/grooms: If you schedule a meeting with a wedding planner based on things you saw in his or her website portfolio, print out those photos and take them with you to the consultation. Make sure you ask to see their portfolio. A creditable planner will present it without you asking. If you don’t see ANY of the photos included in their website portfolio, there’s a good chance they weren’t theirs to begin with. If you do see some of the photos, ask questions such as which venue did the event take place, how many guests, how large was the bridal party, etc. They will know the answers if they actually worked on that wedding or event.
To wedding planners: Using stock photos as decorative pictures on your website is somewhat acceptable however, including them or photos of someone else’s work in your website portfolio is not. The potential client will assume it is your work. I understand that when you’re first starting out you may not have your own photos to include on your website gallery. So instead, do not include a page on your website for a gallery until you do or include the page but say “coming soon”.
This is just my two cents. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject.
Monday, May 24, 2010
I recently met with potential clients who were in the beginning stages of their wedding planning. During the initial meeting we discussed their preliminary guest count. They planned to invite approximately 190 people to their wedding BUT hoped only 115 would actually RSVP yes. That means they expected 75 guests (roughly 40%) not to attend their wedding. Unfortunately, this is not the first time I’ve heard this.
Some couples do it because of budget, some because of limited space at the venue they’ve chosen and the list goes on. Let me just say this is not a realistic way to handle your guest list. There, I said it…and here’s why.
Venue: if your venue can only hold 125 guests with a dance floor but you invite 190 you run the risk that you’ll end up with more guests than your venue can accommodate. You will have to figure out what to do with the “additional” guests. Where will they sit? Will you have to call and disinvite some who have already rsvp’d yes? Will you have to change your venue? Talk about stressing out during your wedding planning!
Budget: If the budget for your wedding reception can only accommodate
115 guests, you’ve invited 190 and let’s say 150 people rsvp to attend your wedding, you could have a financial disaster on your hands. Will you have to cut back on other items for your wedding? Will you have to ask parents for additional funds? Will you have to take out a loan? Or again, will you have to disinvite some who’ve already said they’re planning to attend your wedding?
Moral of the story is…you cannot create more space where there is none and you can’t always add additional funds to your budget. So plan your guest list accordingly.
Happy planning!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Most couples don’t realize just how many musical selections they will have to choose during their wedding planning. So I thought I’d list the most common ceremony and reception activities to get you started. Of course this is just a guide and can include more or less than those listed below.
- Wedding party’s entrance for the ceremony
- Bride’s entrance
- Lighting of the Unity Candle, etc. during the ceremony
- Recessional
- Wedding party’s introduction at the reception
- Couple’s introduction at the reception
- First dance
- Father/ daughter dance
- Mother/son dance
- Cake cutting
- Bouquet Toss
- Removing the garter
- Garter toss
- Last dance
That’s 14 songs. Are you surprised? Most couples are. So start thinking about your choices early.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Note: The following blog entry was originally posted on September 24, 2008. I’m re-posting it as part of our Newly Engaged series more specifically Choosing Your Wedding Party.
Most couples have a child or children they HAVE to have in their wedding party. Whether it’s their own child, a family member or the child of a close friend. They are the most adorable kids but will they actually walk down the aisle on your wedding day? There is no rule that says they will or that they won’t but I think it depends on their age AND personality. They say that kids in the wedding party should be 4 – 8 years old. Some kids may be old enough but are very shy so this is just a guide.
I have a conversation with my clients regarding this subject. I want them to know ahead of time that it’s possible their flower girl or ring bearer may not make it down the aisle. I’ve seen children do a fantastic job at the rehearsal only to have stage fright on the wedding day. The difference? There are only a handful of people at the rehearsal most of which are in the bridal party. The wedding day is a much different story. Most couples have anywhere from 100-250 guests in attendance. That’s a lot of pressure for a child. Shoot, that’s a lot of pressure for some adults. Even with promises of gifts, toys, big surprises, etc. some children just won’t do it and I don’t force them to.
At our last wedding, the four year old flower girl didn’t want to walk. So while everyone’s attention was on the bride and her mother as they made their entrance, I walked little miss Anna down the side aisle to the front of the church to be with her mother (the maid of honor). That way she would still be apart of the recessional and appear in the couple’s video and photos.
We’ve had some successes too though. Like the little cutie pictured above. Natalia was only 3 years old but made it down the aisle all on her own. So again, it depends on the personality of the child not just their age.
My advice is to pair a young or shy child with an older or more outgoing child in your wedding. Better yet, pair them with a sibling or family member they are close to. They’ll feel more comfortable and you’ll have a higher chance of them walking down the aisle. Just something to keep in mind as you choose your bridal party.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Note: The following blog entry was originally posted on September 25, 2007. I’m re-posting it as part of our Newly Engaged series more specifically “Choosing Your Wedding Party”.
For those of you that don’t know, I LOVE the MTV show “The Hills” which airs Monday nights at 10pm EST. In last night’s episode, the newly engaged Heidi Montag went shopping for her wedding gown. Jen Bunney, who will be a member of the bridal party, accompanied her to a bridal salon. As Heidi admired herself in the mirror and stood there imagining herself walking down the aisle, her friend Jen starts asking her if she’s really ready to get married. Then proceeds to tell her about friends who are now divorcing after a short lived marriage. It was clear that Jen stole Heidi’s joy. I say all of this to say, be careful and very selective when choosing a bridesmaid or matron/maid of honor. Brides sometimes choose their bridal party based on a number of things like having the same number of bridesmaids to match the number of groomsmen chosen by their fiancé, wanting to include people that they’ve known a long time, etc. My very first client switched Matron of Honors half way through her planning because her original choice was unresponsive to calls and emails and was late to every dress appointment if she showed up at all. She chose another friend to replace her. Her second choice did a great job helping wherever needed…until the week of the wedding. She didn’t even want to attend the rehearsal or rehearsal dinner and her attitude on the day of the wedding was horrible. Unfortunately, it was evident in the couple’s wedding pictures.
I encourage you to think of those friends who have been supportive of your relationship with your fiancé, who are genuinely happy about your engagement and those that will be helpful and positive as you go through the planning process. Remember friends who may cause drama, are unreliable, always late and/or always has a negative or pessimistic outlook on everything. Those are probably people you want to find a different role for in your wedding.
Monday, December 21, 2009
As soon as you get engaged you’ll want to announce it to the world. While you’re still on the engagement high, you’ll be quick to ask family and/or friends to stand up for you on your big day. Although you may have a ton of friends that you’ve known for what seems like forever or large family (lots of sisters, brothers, cousins, etc) keep in mind that having a large wedding party comes at a price. I’ve done weddings with bridal parties of 20+ people. I remember watching an episode of “Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?” where a planner coordinated a wedding with 52 people in the wedding party. Most wedding planners would say that 5-6 on each side is about average whereas 10 or more on each side is considered large.
Couples usually don’t think the costs associated with asking someone to be in their wedding. Of course there is a cost to them (bridesmaid dress, tuxedo, contributing to bridal showers and bachelor/bachelorette parties, etc.) but there is also a cost for you. Here are a few things to keep in mind before deciding on a large wedding party.
The larger your wedding party the higher the costs for:
- Florals – will need more bouquets and boutonnières at around $75 and $15 each (depending flower choice)
- Transportation – will need larger than a standard limo to accommodate everyone
- Rehearsal Dinner – will need to pay for additional people (especially if you include their spouses)
- Wedding Party Gifts – will need to purchase more gifts
- Hotel – may need a hotel suite for you and your attendants to get dressed instead of a hotel room or your home
How will these higher costs affect your budget?
Stay tuned…later this week we will re-run two previous posts that will also help with choosing your wedding party.
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