Baltimore Wedding Planners Affairs With Elegance Blog » Wedding Planning 101

Hoping Guests RSVP No

LaKendra - Affairs With Elegance — Mon, 24 May 2010 14:23:21 +0000

I recently met with potential clients who were in the beginning stages of their wedding planning. During the initial meeting we discussed their preliminary guest count. They planned to invite approximately 190 people to their wedding BUT hoped only 115 would actually RSVP yes. That means they expected 75 guests (roughly 40%) not to attend their wedding. Unfortunately, this is not the first time I’ve heard this.

Some couples do it because of budget, some because of limited space at the venue they’ve chosen and the list goes on. Let me just say this is not a realistic way to handle your guest list. There, I said it…and here’s why.

Venue: if your venue can only hold 125 guests with a dance floor but you invite 190 you run the risk that you’ll end up with more guests than your venue can accommodate. You will have to figure out what to do with the “additional” guests. Where will they sit? Will you have to call and disinvite some who have already rsvp’d yes? Will you have to change your venue? Talk about stressing out during your wedding planning!

Budget: If the budget for your wedding reception can only accommodate
115 guests, you’ve invited 190 and let’s say 150 people rsvp to attend your wedding, you could have a financial disaster on your hands. Will you have to cut back on other items for your wedding? Will you have to ask parents for additional funds? Will you have to take out a loan? Or again, will you have to disinvite some who’ve already said they’re planning to attend your wedding?

Moral of the story is…you cannot create more space where there is none and you can’t always add additional funds to your budget. So plan your guest list accordingly.

Happy planning!

Seeing Each Other Before or During the Ceremony

LaKendra - Affairs With Elegance — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 22:22:01 +0000

I have to start this post off with a confession. I have always been of the mindset that the first time a couple should see each other is when the bride is walking down the aisle. I feel it adds an element of anticipation and grandeur. I think one of the best wedding photos is of the groom’s reaction as the doors open and reveal his bride. I did it for my own wedding and find that most of my clients want the same for their wedding (without any prodding or coaching from me by the way). However, I’ve had a few clients who decided to buck tradition and see each other BEFORE the ceremony.

I must say that my view of seeing each other before hand changed thanks to Stephanie & Walter. They were our first couple to decide to see each other prior to their wedding ceremony. One reason for my “change of heart” is that you can take all of your wedding photos ahead of time. That means you’re not taking them while your guests are enjoying cocktail hour. You can actually join your guests right after the ceremony. Or you can head to another location to take additional photos. Stephanie & Walter took their wedding party photos in the Mt. Vernon neighborhood near the church but headed to Federal Hill for photos of just the two of them while everyone else went to the reception venue.

Positive Images by Rettberg

But the biggest thing that changed my mind is the fact that you can share an intimate moment together that you just don’t have at the altar. We’ve all been to weddings and watched brides and grooms mouthing words or chatting with each other at the altar at the beginning of their ceremony. Most of the time they are telling each other how nice the other looks. And no matter how much you may want to hug and/or kiss your spouse-to-be you usually have to wait until you’re pronounced husband and wife before you can do that. But if you do what’s often referred to as a “First Look” you can have a private moment for just the two of you…like the couple below.

We want to hear your thoughts on the subject. If you’re engaged tell us if you plan to see each other before or during the ceremony. Married folks let us know what you did for your wedding.

 {photos: Positive Images by Rettberg and Jasmine Star}

We’re Back!

LaKendra - Affairs With Elegance — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 23:57:41 +0000

We are a few weeks into the New Year (and new decade) and it’s obvious that we took a little break from our blog. Well we’re back and ready to connect with engaged couples. Hopefully you’ll find some great posts to help you as your plan your wedding.

Did he put a ring on it over the holidays? If so, you’ll probaby want to check out the “Newly Engaged?” series we started last month. The posts are designed to help couples with what to do right after getting engaged…choosing your wedding date, determining your wedding budget, wedding guest list, choosing your wedding party, etc.

This coming week all of our posts will be related to choosing a wedding planner. We hope the advice will help you with what to look for as well as red flags to beware of.

Stay tuned…

Kids in Your Bridal Party

LaKendra - Affairs With Elegance — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 18:20:00 +0000

Note: The following blog entry was originally posted on September 24, 2008. I’m re-posting it as part of our Newly Engaged series more specifically Choosing Your Wedding Party.

Most couples have a child or children they HAVE to have in their wedding party. Whether it’s their own child, a family member or the child of a close friend. They are the most adorable kids but will they actually walk down the aisle on your wedding day? There is no rule that says they will or that they won’t but I think it depends on their age AND personality. They say that kids in the wedding party should be 4 – 8 years old. Some kids may be old enough but are very shy so this is just a guide.

I have a conversation with my clients regarding this subject. I want them to know ahead of time that it’s possible their flower girl or ring bearer may not make it down the aisle. I’ve seen children do a fantastic job at the rehearsal only to have stage fright on the wedding day. The difference? There are only a handful of people at the rehearsal most of which are in the bridal party. The wedding day is a much different story. Most couples have anywhere from 100-250 guests in attendance. That’s a lot of pressure for a child. Shoot, that’s a lot of pressure for some adults. Even with promises of gifts, toys, big surprises, etc. some children just won’t do it and I don’t force them to.

At our last wedding, the four year old flower girl didn’t want to walk. So while everyone’s attention was on the bride and her mother as they made their entrance, I walked little miss Anna down the side aisle to the front of the church to be with her mother (the maid of honor). That way she would still be apart of the recessional and appear in the couple’s video and photos.

We’ve had some successes too though. Like the little cutie pictured above. Natalia was only 3 years old but made it down the aisle all on her own. So again, it depends on the personality of the child not just their age.

My advice is to pair a young or shy child with an older or more outgoing child in your wedding. Better yet, pair them with a sibling or family member they are close to. They’ll feel more comfortable and you’ll have a higher chance of them walking down the aisle. Just something to keep in mind as you choose your bridal party.

Will You Be My Bridesmaid?

LaKendra - Affairs With Elegance — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 15:41:00 +0000

Note: The following blog entry was originally posted on September 25, 2007. I’m re-posting it as part of our Newly Engaged series more specifically “Choosing Your Wedding Party”.

For those of you that don’t know, I LOVE the MTV show “The Hills” which airs Monday nights at 10pm EST. In last night’s episode, the newly engaged Heidi Montag went shopping for her wedding gown. Jen Bunney, who will be a member of the bridal party, accompanied her to a bridal salon. As Heidi admired herself in the mirror and stood there imagining herself walking down the aisle, her friend Jen starts asking her if she’s really ready to get married. Then proceeds to tell her about friends who are now divorcing after a short lived marriage. It was clear that Jen stole Heidi’s joy.

I say all of this to say, be careful and very selective when choosing a bridesmaid or matron/maid of honor. Brides sometimes choose their bridal party based on a number of things like having the same number of bridesmaids to match the number of groomsmen chosen by their fiancé, wanting to include people that they’ve known a long time, etc. My very first client switched Matron of Honors half way through her planning because her original choice was unresponsive to calls and emails and was late to every dress appointment if she showed up at all. She chose another friend to replace her. Her second choice did a great job helping wherever needed…until the week of the wedding. She didn’t even want to attend the rehearsal or rehearsal dinner and her attitude on the day of the wedding was horrible. Unfortunately, it was evident in the couple’s wedding pictures.

I encourage you to think of those friends who have been supportive of your relationship with your fiancé, who are genuinely happy about your engagement and those that will be helpful and positive as you go through the planning process. Remember friends who may cause drama, are unreliable, always late and/or always has a negative or pessimistic outlook on everything. Those are probably people you want to find a different role for in your wedding.

Newly Engaged? Choosing Your Wedding Party

LaKendra - Affairs With Elegance — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 20:28:17 +0000

As soon as you get engaged you’ll want to announce it to the world. While you’re still on the engagement high, you’ll be quick to ask family and/or friends to stand up for you on your big day. Although you may have a ton of friends that you’ve known for what seems like forever or large family (lots of sisters, brothers, cousins, etc) keep in mind that having a large wedding party comes at a price. I’ve done weddings with bridal parties of 20+ people. I remember watching an episode of “Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?” where a planner coordinated a wedding with 52 people in the wedding party. Most wedding planners would say that 5-6 on each side is about average whereas 10 or more on each side is considered large.

Couples usually don’t think the costs associated with asking someone to be in their wedding. Of course there is a cost to them (bridesmaid dress, tuxedo, contributing to bridal showers and bachelor/bachelorette parties, etc.) but there is also a cost for you. Here are a few things to keep in mind before deciding on a large wedding party.

The larger your wedding party the higher the costs for:

Florals – will need more bouquets and boutonnières at around $75 and $15 each (depending flower choice)
Transportation – will need larger than a standard limo to accommodate everyone
Rehearsal Dinner – will need to pay for additional people (especially if you include their spouses)
Wedding Party Gifts – will need to purchase more gifts
Hotel – may need a hotel suite for you and your attendants to get dressed instead of a hotel room or your home

How will these higher costs affect your budget?

Stay tuned…later this week we will re-run two previous posts that will also help with choosing your wedding party.

Newly Engaged? Creating Your Wedding Guest List

LaKendra - Affairs With Elegance — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 15:21:44 +0000

Before you start researching venues for your ceremony and reception, you’ll need to have an idea of how many guests you plan to invite to your wedding. Write down all the people you want to join you on your special day…family, friends, their significant others, kids, etc. Don’t forget to include yourselves and your bridal party in your guest count. Then talk with your parents to see who they would like to invite. The total is your preliminary guest list.

Having a preliminary guest list will help you avoid booking venues that are either too large or too small for your celebration. Imagine choosing a beautiful quaint chapel for the ceremony or a gorgeous historic mansion for dinner only to realize later that you have 200 guests but the chapel only seats 125 and the mansion only holds 150. On the flip side, what if you choose a large ballroom at a trendy new hotel that holds 300 people but your guest list only comes out to 100. While it’s true that having too much space is better than not enough space, it’s still not a good thing.

Another reason you should have a preliminary guest list is to determine if the reception venue’s catering prices are within your budget. Typically, you should expect to allocate about 50% of your wedding budget to food and beverage. If you multiply the number of wedding guests by the caterer’s per person price including service charge and tax (often referred to as + +) and it’s more than half your wedding budget, you may need to consider other venue options or reduce your guest list.

Hope this helps you see why it’s best to make your guest list first.