I have no idea how this “tradition” started but I wish it would just go away. To me, a wedding has no place for this. A wedding is all about celebrating your love for each other. Nothing about this act says that in my opinion.

To the Grooms: Your wife spent quite a bit of time, and money I may add, to have a make-up artist make her look perfect for her walk down the aisle. I’m sure she didn’t plan to have it removed with wedding cake. Let’s not forget the amount of time spent in the hair salon.

To the Brides: While your husband didn’t spend his morning in hair and make-up, I’m sure he doesn’t want to spend a portion of the reception removing cake from his nose.

To help prevent my couples from smashing cake in each other’s faces, I ask the caterers to place a small plate and two forks on the cake table. I move them in front of the cake right before the couple cuts the cake. I figured the chances of them doing anything other than feeding each other would be slim to none. I’ve only had one bride insist her groom put the fork down and feed her with his hand. I think you know what happened next…cake all over his face.

Okay, if you really have your heart set on doing the bouquet toss, removing the garter and the garter toss, please consider skipping the custom that comes next. The man who caught the garter must place it on the leg of the woman who caught the bouquet. According to tradition, the higher the garter is placed on her leg the longer the couple will stay married.

This particular reception activity has caused very awkward moments at a few of my weddings.

Wedding #1: The man and woman have never met. The man starts the process by putting the garter in his mouth so that he can place it on the woman’s leg using his teeth. If that wasn’t awkward enough, he tried his best to get it past mid thigh until the woman finally put an end to it. Later we saw the woman crying outside the ballroom arguing with her very upset male date.

Wedding #2: The man that caught the bouquet was the groom’s best friend and groomsman. The woman that caught the bouquet was the groom’s sister. The man and woman have practically grown up together over the years and felt it was WAY too weird to go along with tradition. Instead, I asked them to pose for a picture with the bride and groom while holding the bouquet and garter. To comprise, the man decided to place the garter on the woman’s arm.

Wedding #3: The woman that caught the bouquet was the much older aunt of the man that caught the garter. No further explanation needed.

Instead of the bouquet/garter toss, why not follow the suggestions from By Your Side Events.
~ Some brides decide to present the bouquet to their mother during a heart felt thank you speech.

~ If there is an engaged couple in attendance, some brides decide to pass on the bouquet to the bride-to-be.

~ Do an anniversary dance. This is when the DJ or band plays a song and all couples dance. The emcee calls out years and couples leave the dance floor according to the number of years they’ve been together. The couple standing at the end who have been together the longest is the one you can present your bouquet to.

Once the Groom removes the garter, all the single (not married) men are called to the dance floor. According to tradition, the man that catches the garter would be the next to marry…not necessarily to the woman that caught the bouquet though.

Before adding this custom to your wedding, consider the men on your guest list. Are most of them married and very few single? Will the single ones participate or will you spend what seems like hours trying to encourage them to participate. If you finally convince a few to head to the dance floor, some won’t even try to catch it. We’ve all seen it. The Groom tosses the garter, all the men watch it hit the floor and the man closest to it picks it up. Not what I’d call participation but maybe that’s just me.

I’m sure you’re familiar with this custom. The Groom removes the garter from the Bride’s leg while she’s sits in a chair. Seems innocent enough right? That is until some Grooms take it a little too far. The experience can start of a little risqué depending on the musical selection chosen for this particular activity.

I think some Grooms forget that their new Father-in-law will be watching. I’m sure that’s not what he had in mind when he handed off his precious daughter during the wedding ceremony. What about grand-parents or elderly guests who come from a different era and will be embarrassed by such a performance. Let’s not forget the bride who has to sit there as her new husband sticks his entire head up her dress and removes the garter with his teeth.

I know that it’s all in fun but I’d prefer couples save this for their wedding night…when it’s just the two of them. Imagine how much fun they could have then.

While I know this is a long standing wedding custom, this is one of many I’d really like to see couples skip during their reception. The purpose of the bouquet toss is to have all the single (not married) women front and center on the dance floor in hopes of catching the bride’s toss bouquet. According to tradition, the woman that catches the bouquet would be the next to marry. Ummm, I think we all know that this is usually not the case however, it doesn’t seem to stop some ladies from fighting over the bouquet. I’ve been to a few weddings where I thought they might have to call security to break up the ladies fighting over it. Not the look most of you are going for I’m sure.

Before adding this custom to your wedding you may also want to think about your guest list. If it consists of mostly married couples and very few single friends then the bouquet toss may not be a great idea. You will have very few ladies on the floor and some of them may not want to draw attention to the fact that they are single. You will waste a lot of time trying to encourage ladies to participate.

In a later post, I will give you suggestions of activities to do instead.