Monday, May 24, 2010
I recently met with potential clients who were in the beginning stages of their wedding planning. During the initial meeting we discussed their preliminary guest count. They planned to invite approximately 190 people to their wedding BUT hoped only 115 would actually RSVP yes. That means they expected 75 guests (roughly 40%) not to attend their wedding. Unfortunately, this is not the first time I’ve heard this.
Some couples do it because of budget, some because of limited space at the venue they’ve chosen and the list goes on. Let me just say this is not a realistic way to handle your guest list. There, I said it…and here’s why.
Venue: if your venue can only hold 125 guests with a dance floor but you invite 190 you run the risk that you’ll end up with more guests than your venue can accommodate. You will have to figure out what to do with the “additional” guests. Where will they sit? Will you have to call and disinvite some who have already rsvp’d yes? Will you have to change your venue? Talk about stressing out during your wedding planning!
Budget: If the budget for your wedding reception can only accommodate
115 guests, you’ve invited 190 and let’s say 150 people rsvp to attend your wedding, you could have a financial disaster on your hands. Will you have to cut back on other items for your wedding? Will you have to ask parents for additional funds? Will you have to take out a loan? Or again, will you have to disinvite some who’ve already said they’re planning to attend your wedding?
Moral of the story is…you cannot create more space where there is none and you can’t always add additional funds to your budget. So plan your guest list accordingly.
Happy planning!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Note: The following blog entry was originally posted on September 24, 2008. I’m re-posting it as part of our Newly Engaged series more specifically Choosing Your Wedding Party.
Most couples have a child or children they HAVE to have in their wedding party. Whether it’s their own child, a family member or the child of a close friend. They are the most adorable kids but will they actually walk down the aisle on your wedding day? There is no rule that says they will or that they won’t but I think it depends on their age AND personality. They say that kids in the wedding party should be 4 – 8 years old. Some kids may be old enough but are very shy so this is just a guide.
I have a conversation with my clients regarding this subject. I want them to know ahead of time that it’s possible their flower girl or ring bearer may not make it down the aisle. I’ve seen children do a fantastic job at the rehearsal only to have stage fright on the wedding day. The difference? There are only a handful of people at the rehearsal most of which are in the bridal party. The wedding day is a much different story. Most couples have anywhere from 100-250 guests in attendance. That’s a lot of pressure for a child. Shoot, that’s a lot of pressure for some adults. Even with promises of gifts, toys, big surprises, etc. some children just won’t do it and I don’t force them to.
At our last wedding, the four year old flower girl didn’t want to walk. So while everyone’s attention was on the bride and her mother as they made their entrance, I walked little miss Anna down the side aisle to the front of the church to be with her mother (the maid of honor). That way she would still be apart of the recessional and appear in the couple’s video and photos.
We’ve had some successes too though. Like the little cutie pictured above. Natalia was only 3 years old but made it down the aisle all on her own. So again, it depends on the personality of the child not just their age.
My advice is to pair a young or shy child with an older or more outgoing child in your wedding. Better yet, pair them with a sibling or family member they are close to. They’ll feel more comfortable and you’ll have a higher chance of them walking down the aisle. Just something to keep in mind as you choose your bridal party.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Note: The following blog entry was originally posted on September 25, 2007. I’m re-posting it as part of our Newly Engaged series more specifically “Choosing Your Wedding Party”.
For those of you that don’t know, I LOVE the MTV show “The Hills” which airs Monday nights at 10pm EST. In last night’s episode, the newly engaged Heidi Montag went shopping for her wedding gown. Jen Bunney, who will be a member of the bridal party, accompanied her to a bridal salon. As Heidi admired herself in the mirror and stood there imagining herself walking down the aisle, her friend Jen starts asking her if she’s really ready to get married. Then proceeds to tell her about friends who are now divorcing after a short lived marriage. It was clear that Jen stole Heidi’s joy. I say all of this to say, be careful and very selective when choosing a bridesmaid or matron/maid of honor. Brides sometimes choose their bridal party based on a number of things like having the same number of bridesmaids to match the number of groomsmen chosen by their fiancé, wanting to include people that they’ve known a long time, etc. My very first client switched Matron of Honors half way through her planning because her original choice was unresponsive to calls and emails and was late to every dress appointment if she showed up at all. She chose another friend to replace her. Her second choice did a great job helping wherever needed…until the week of the wedding. She didn’t even want to attend the rehearsal or rehearsal dinner and her attitude on the day of the wedding was horrible. Unfortunately, it was evident in the couple’s wedding pictures.
I encourage you to think of those friends who have been supportive of your relationship with your fiancé, who are genuinely happy about your engagement and those that will be helpful and positive as you go through the planning process. Remember friends who may cause drama, are unreliable, always late and/or always has a negative or pessimistic outlook on everything. Those are probably people you want to find a different role for in your wedding.
Monday, December 21, 2009
As soon as you get engaged you’ll want to announce it to the world. While you’re still on the engagement high, you’ll be quick to ask family and/or friends to stand up for you on your big day. Although you may have a ton of friends that you’ve known for what seems like forever or large family (lots of sisters, brothers, cousins, etc) keep in mind that having a large wedding party comes at a price. I’ve done weddings with bridal parties of 20+ people. I remember watching an episode of “Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?” where a planner coordinated a wedding with 52 people in the wedding party. Most wedding planners would say that 5-6 on each side is about average whereas 10 or more on each side is considered large.
Couples usually don’t think the costs associated with asking someone to be in their wedding. Of course there is a cost to them (bridesmaid dress, tuxedo, contributing to bridal showers and bachelor/bachelorette parties, etc.) but there is also a cost for you. Here are a few things to keep in mind before deciding on a large wedding party.
The larger your wedding party the higher the costs for:
- Florals – will need more bouquets and boutonnières at around $75 and $15 each (depending flower choice)
- Transportation – will need larger than a standard limo to accommodate everyone
- Rehearsal Dinner – will need to pay for additional people (especially if you include their spouses)
- Wedding Party Gifts – will need to purchase more gifts
- Hotel – may need a hotel suite for you and your attendants to get dressed instead of a hotel room or your home
How will these higher costs affect your budget?
Stay tuned…later this week we will re-run two previous posts that will also help with choosing your wedding party.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Before you start researching venues for your ceremony and reception, you’ll need to have an idea of how many guests you plan to invite to your wedding. Write down all the people you want to join you on your special day…family, friends, their significant others, kids, etc. Don’t forget to include yourselves and your bridal party in your guest count. Then talk with your parents to see who they would like to invite. The total is your preliminary guest list.
Having a preliminary guest list will help you avoid booking venues that are either too large or too small for your celebration. Imagine choosing a beautiful quaint chapel for the ceremony or a gorgeous historic mansion for dinner only to realize later that you have 200 guests but the chapel only seats 125 and the mansion only holds 150. On the flip side, what if you choose a large ballroom at a trendy new hotel that holds 300 people but your guest list only comes out to 100. While it’s true that having too much space is better than not enough space, it’s still not a good thing.
Another reason you should have a preliminary guest list is to determine if the reception venue’s catering prices are within your budget. Typically, you should expect to allocate about 50% of your wedding budget to food and beverage. If you multiply the number of wedding guests by the caterer’s per person price including service charge and tax (often referred to as + +) and it’s more than half your wedding budget, you may need to consider other venue options or reduce your guest list.
Hope this helps you see why it’s best to make your guest list first.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Now that you’ve chosen a wedding date and determined your wedding budget you’ll be eager to get started with planning the wedding of your dreams. There’s just one thing…how involved does the groom want to be in the planning? Does it match your expectations?
I’ve found that there are a few different types of grooms out there. Which one applies to your groom?
- wants to be very involved and included in every detail related to your wedding
- wants to only be included in major wedding elements like the catering menu, music, or venue but not as concerned with the color scheme, floral arrangements or menu cards
- just wants to know when and where to show up on your wedding day
Are your expectations higher or lower than those of your groom? This is a subject that should be discussed early on so that you both know what to expect.. Believe me, being on the same page will make both your lives easier during the wedding planning process.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
One very important element of your wedding, besides the bride & groom of course, is the wedding budget. How much will you have to spend for your wedding?
Here is a quick way to come up with this figure:
- Existing Funds – Look at how much do you currently have in your bank accounts then decide how much of that amount you want to use toward your wedding
- Joint Funds – Determine how much money you can save each month as a couple and then multiply that by the number of months you have until your wedding
- Tax Refund – If you usually receive a refund on your taxes each year you may want to include an estimated amount to your wedding budget
- Contributions – Sit down with your parents to see if they plan to contribute
Once you’ve come up with your budget amount it will be the basis for your entire wedding not just for your reception. EVERYTHING for your wedding will come out of this amount…wedding attire and accessories, flowers, officiant, transportation, photographer, videographer, décor, stationery, hair & makeup, wedding party gifts, etc.
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